Trumpeter
Songwriter
Singer
Big Knickers
The background to Big Knickers
An unexpected downside to motherhood that no-one mentions! The song is set as a Charleston, which we danced during the piano section in the middle. Onstage we wore knee-length knickerbockers, having discovered that there are different perceptions as to what constitutes “big” knickers - and we didn’t want to risk inadvertently insulting anyone!
An unexpected downside to motherhood that no-one mentions! The song is set as a Charleston, which we danced during the piano section in the middle. Onstage we wore knee-length knickerbockers, having discovered that there are different perceptions as to what constitutes “big” knickers - and we didn’t want to risk inadvertently insulting anyone!
Big Knickers - the lyrics
When I was a girl I never dreamed that I would end up like this
Wearing big knickers.
No way!
Post pregnancy bump left me a jelly belly that overhangs
Needing big knickers like my Granny and Mum
When I think what I used to wear
Don’t go there. Now I despair. Try not to care
It’s rare That I dare To bare
Life’s so unfair
When I was a girl I never dreamed …
Why’m I still too wide for my height?
Cellulite. Oh what a sight. Jeans are too tight.
My plight – what a fight. So trite,
Try as I might.
No way!
When I was a girl I never dreamed …
When I think how I used to flirt
Body pert. Once extrovert. Sex a dead cert.
Loose skirt. Introvert. Long shirt.
All eyes avert
When I was a girl I never dreamed …
Still want to wear my old crop top
Oh please stop. I want to swap. Try not to flop
Size drop Muffin top Oops pop
I want to strop
No way! No way!
I fancy these ones…
Optimistic …
What memories …
Naughty
If only …
What’s the point of this?
Which way round are they? Oof!
There are dolls with bottoms bigger than that!
I used to have a pair like this.
Did they ever fit?
Don’t know … I never wore them. Only bought them for show - to put on the washing line!
You never cease to amaze me!
I long to wear a tiny thong
That’s just wrong. Gusset will pong. ‘Lastic’s too strong
G string Oh please Have a fling Ding dong
Hear our new song
Probably should wear a girdle
God! How that makes my blood curdle
That would be the final hurdle
VPL Want to yell
My arse What a farce
Hundred per cent cotton Makes me feel rotten
Now what would be ace is wearing all lace …….
Imagine his face!
Imagine his face!
No way! No way!
Post pregnancy bump left me a jelly belly that overhangs
Needing big knickers like my Granny and Mum
No way! No way!
Copyright © 2012 Avelia Moisey & Jill Neenan
When I was a girl I never dreamed that I would end up like this
Wearing big knickers.
No way!
Post pregnancy bump left me a jelly belly that overhangs
Needing big knickers like my Granny and Mum
When I think what I used to wear
Don’t go there. Now I despair. Try not to care
It’s rare That I dare To bare
Life’s so unfair
When I was a girl I never dreamed …
Why’m I still too wide for my height?
Cellulite. Oh what a sight. Jeans are too tight.
My plight – what a fight. So trite,
Try as I might.
No way!
When I was a girl I never dreamed …
When I think how I used to flirt
Body pert. Once extrovert. Sex a dead cert.
Loose skirt. Introvert. Long shirt.
All eyes avert
When I was a girl I never dreamed …
Still want to wear my old crop top
Oh please stop. I want to swap. Try not to flop
Size drop Muffin top Oops pop
I want to strop
No way! No way!
I fancy these ones…
Optimistic …
What memories …
Naughty
If only …
What’s the point of this?
Which way round are they? Oof!
There are dolls with bottoms bigger than that!
I used to have a pair like this.
Did they ever fit?
Don’t know … I never wore them. Only bought them for show - to put on the washing line!
You never cease to amaze me!
I long to wear a tiny thong
That’s just wrong. Gusset will pong. ‘Lastic’s too strong
G string Oh please Have a fling Ding dong
Hear our new song
Probably should wear a girdle
God! How that makes my blood curdle
That would be the final hurdle
VPL Want to yell
My arse What a farce
Hundred per cent cotton Makes me feel rotten
Now what would be ace is wearing all lace …….
Imagine his face!
Imagine his face!
No way! No way!
Post pregnancy bump left me a jelly belly that overhangs
Needing big knickers like my Granny and Mum
No way! No way!
Copyright © 2012 Avelia Moisey & Jill Neenan
Website designed by Copyright © 2024
